How the couples quiz works

This is the "how well do you really know me?" game, built for one phone and two people on the same couch. It takes about ten minutes, needs no preparation, and it is the kind of game where you both end up saying "wait, really?" at least twice.

1. Type your first names. The game uses them in every question.
2. One of you answers secretly. The screen tells the other person to look away, and asks the first person a question about themselves, such as "What is your go-to snack?" They tap their real answer.
3. Hand the phone over. The second person sees the same question about their partner, "What is Sam's go-to snack?", and tries to guess.
4. Reveal. You see straight away whether the guess was right, what the real answer was, and the running score.
5. Swap. The next question is about the other person, so you take turns being the one who answers and the one who guesses.

A round is ten questions, five about each of you, picked at random from a bank of 45. At the end you see the final score for each of you and a list of every answer, which is often the best part to read through together. Then you can play ten new questions that were not in the round you just finished.

What the questions cover

Every question has four possible answers, so there is no typing and no arguing over whether "sort of pasta" counts as "noodles". The questions cover everyday habits, tastes and personality: how each of you handles a bad day, what you would order for a comfort dinner, what you are most likely to lose, how you react to getting lost, what makes you laugh hardest, and what you would rather give up for a month.

They are deliberately about small, specific things. Big questions about values and the future are important, but they belong in a different kind of conversation, and the Compatibility Test and the Deep deck of the Couples Questions game are better for those. This quiz is about the details that show you have been paying attention.

Taking turns and handing over the phone

The order is set for you, so there is nothing to decide. The first question is always about the person whose name you typed first, which means the second person is the first to guess. After that the roles flip on every question, so by the end of a round each of you has answered five questions about yourself and made five guesses about the other.

A few small habits make the handoff smooth:

• Really look away. The four options are on screen while the secret answer is picked, so a quick glance ruins the question. Turning around, closing your eyes or going to grab a drink all work.
• Tap once and be sure. As soon as the answer is tapped, the screen says "Locked in" and there is no going back. If you tap the wrong one by accident, say so after the reveal and just ignore that point.
• Pass the phone screen-down. The locked-in screen does not show the answer, but it is a nice habit that stops any accidental peeking.
• Read the question out loud when you guess. Hearing "How does Sam act when they are hungry?" in your partner's voice is half the fun, and it gives the other person a chance to pull a face.

How to read your score

Each of you can score up to five, because each of you guesses five times. Here is roughly what a combined score means:

Do not read too much into one round. Ten questions is a small sample, and with four options per question, even a lucky guess counts. The real value is in the wrong answers. Every miss is a little piece of your partner you did not know yet, or something about them that has changed since you first met.

It is also common for one person to score higher than the other. That usually says more about how observant one of you is, or how predictable the other is, than about who loves whom more. The results screen names whoever guessed better that round, or calls it a tie.

What the misses can teach you

Once the round is over, scroll through the list of answers together. Every question shows the real answer, and each miss shows what was guessed instead. Some misses are just funny: nobody's relationship depends on whether their partner would name a goldfish something silly. Others are worth a second look, because they point at how your partner feels and copes rather than what they like to eat.

• How they handle a bad day. If you guessed "wants to talk about it" and the real answer was "needs quiet time alone", that is useful to know the next time they come home quiet. Giving them space may be exactly the kind thing to do.
• How they prefer to say sorry. Some people apologize with words, some with a hug, some by quietly doing something nice. If you have been waiting for the words, you may have missed apologies that were already happening.
• What they would rather receive. A heartfelt letter, a surprise gift, a planned date or a long hug. A miss here is a gentle hint about what makes your partner feel most cared for. The Love Language Quiz explores this properly.
• What they miss about childhood. Summer vacations, no responsibilities, a favorite toy or family traditions. Ask for the story behind the answer. It often leads somewhere lovely.

A miss is not a failure. People change, and some of the answers you "should" have known may simply be different from how they were a few years ago. Finding that out is the point.

House rules and variations

The quiz keeps the basic score for you. If you want to raise the stakes or stretch the game out, these are easy to add with nothing more than a pen and paper, or just a good memory.

The confidence call

Before tapping a guess, the guesser says "sure" or "not sure" out loud. A sure guess that turns out right earns a bonus point on paper. A sure guess that turns out wrong costs one. It turns every question into a small, dramatic decision.

Tell me why

After every miss, the person who was asked about gets thirty seconds to explain their real answer. After every hit, the guesser explains how they knew. This version takes longer, but it is the one couples tend to remember.

Best of three

Play three rounds and keep a running total. After each round, "Play 10 new questions" gives you ten that were not in the round you just played, so the second round is always fresh. The overall loser plans the next date, cooks the next meal or picks up a chore of the winner's choosing.

Predict the score

Before you start, each of you writes down how many you think you will get right out of five. Whoever lands closest to their own prediction wins a small prize, whatever the actual scores. It rewards knowing yourself as well as knowing your partner.

The rematch rule

If one of you wins by three or more, the other gets to pick the stakes for the next round. It keeps a lopsided evening from going flat.

Playing at a party or with friends

The quiz works well as a gentle party game, because each round only takes a few minutes and everyone gets to watch the reveals. A simple way to run it:

1. Write the couples on a sheet of paper. Each pair plays one round of ten on the same phone.
2. Use "New players" between couples. It takes you back to the start so the next pair can type their names.
3. Record the combined score. Write each couple's total out of ten next to their names.
4. Break ties with a sudden-death round. The tied couples each play a fresh round, and the first miss loses.

It is a gentler, quicker cousin of the classic Newlywed Game. Because the questions are picked at random, each couple gets a different mix, which keeps the audience guessing too. Friends, siblings and roommates can join as pairs as well. If your group wants something with more questions and a bigger audience role, our list of newlywed game questions is made for hosting out loud.

Good times and places to play

Because it needs one phone and no setup, the quiz fits into all kinds of small gaps in the day:

• Waiting for food at a restaurant. A round usually takes less time than the kitchen does.
• At the airport or on a train. It is quiet enough to play anywhere and fills a delay nicely.
• On a road trip. Play among the passengers, or save it for a rest stop or the hotel at night. The driver should never be the one holding the phone.
• On a lazy weekend morning. Play a round over coffee and let the answers decide the plan for the day.
• On an anniversary. Play every year and compare how well you do. A higher score over time is a sweet thing to notice together.

Turning a round into a date night

Many of the questions double as a ready-made plan. By the end of a round you may know exactly what kind of movie your partner wants tonight, what they would order for a comfort dinner, which dessert they would choose and what they think is the most romantic kind of date. Use them. If you guessed wrong about their perfect night out, book that one next. If you both learned something about the other person's ideal free Saturday, plan one for each of you this month.

When the quiz answers do not settle it, the Date Generator can suggest something new to try together.

Ideas for playing

• Before and after. Play once now and again in six months. It is interesting to see what you have learned.
• Talk about the misses. After each wrong guess, ask why the real answer is true. "Why is winter your favorite season?" can turn into a long, lovely story.
• Early dating. For couples who have only been together a few weeks, play it as a get-to-know-you game rather than a test. Low scores are the whole point.

Keeping it fun

Quizzes like this are meant to be playful, so it helps to agree on a couple of ground rules before you start. No sulking over a wrong guess about you. No answering what you wish were true instead of what is actually true. And if one of you guesses "Noticeably grumpy" for how you act when you are hungry, the correct response is to laugh, not to prove them right.

Frequently asked questions

Looking for more games? Our list of couple games to play at home has dozens more, from quick ones to whole-evening ideas.